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Dear Mr. Romney,

sorry for the shit, that happens to you last night. Anyway – I found a way, how your dream being a president still can come true: There is a great football club here in Germany (very old country in Europe), which is called Alemannia Aachen. Our colours are yellow and black and we love to play in the dirt.

We are looking for a president with passion and money, because we really fucked up during the last six years and lost all we had: our money, our stadium and some parts of our tradition. As you can see, there is a lot to do and a lot of fame to earn. What we can offer is, to name our stadium „The Mitt Romney Tivoli“, to build a Mitt-statue at the famous market place in the heart of Aachen and to create a specific chant with your name in it to the melody of „Yellow Submarine“.

Mitt, take your chance and become our president! There is no need to discuss all that american shit with Barack next week, we have something bigger for you in Aachen. Looking forward to get your acceptance.

Black-yellow regards
Sascha Theisen